When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and I could say, "I used everything you gave me."

Monday, December 12, 2011

The Day I Wished Would Never Come


Yesterday was the day. Yesterday was the first time my Granny couldn’t remember my name as I walked into her room at MCM to visit her.

Was I prepared for it?  I don’t think anything in the world could prepare me for it.  Deep down I think I knew it would be the day, because I hadn’t seen her since Thanksgiving.  I know she had kind of rough week and was confused a little more than normal.  There is just one thing – she is HAPPY, and that is simply enough to remind myself that it isn’t important that she remembers my name. 

My Mom and her siblings recently cleaned out Granny’s house on Southwest Border Street.  I sit here and a hundred different images of my Grandmother and Grandpa flash through my mind.  While the house is still in the family, it is no longer “theirs” and what I have left to hold onto are the wonderful memories of the most loving grandparents I could ever dream of having.  I consider myself one of the lucky ones, growing up in the same small town as my grandparents and seeing them every day if that is what I wanted. 

Mom brought home a box of books (mostly about saints, Catholic teachings, apparitions of Mary, etc.) from Granny’s collection for me to have.  My Granny was an author and columnist by profession, and she loved to read other people’s writings as well.  I think she passed on her love for books to my mother, who then passed it onto me.  I can’t think of anything else I’d rather have, than a collection of books to help me grow and learn more about my Catholic faith.  My Granny already gave me the Catechism of the Catholic Church that used to belong to her and Grandpa – and now I have many more wonderful titles to add to my shelves.  As I’m sifting through an old, worn out Bible I understand in a greater way how much Granny longs to spend eternity with all of her descendents.  She wrote many prayers, whether they were on loose pieces of papers or in the margins of her books probably as they came to mind.  They are simple, yet beautiful and I am reminded once again that He knows the desires of my heart – and my prayers don’t have to be extravagant.  He just longs to know me.

It is comforting to me to know that even as my Granny loses her memory, she is a daily reminder of what it means to live life as a Catholic in a world where we are constantly receiving criticism and fighting our own battles to become closer to Him.  Even more comforting, is knowing that she will live on through the stories she has written in her books, through her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.   

Granny Yates, we are extremely lucky to still have you around – 87 years young :)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

11 Things I Love About What Happened in the First 24 Hours I Was Home:

Why 11 things you ask?! It seems like a pretty random number, I know.  Or if you know me at all, you may not even be questioning for a second why the number has no rhyme or reason to it and you may simply be enjoying with me the randomness of this little journey I call life.  

1. Immediately having that peaceful feeling I get inside as I turned onto MCo Rd 375 --- seeing the horses in the pasture, the wide open spaces, the barn and the home I grew up in warms my heart.



Home. Sweet. Home.
2. Spending my first night at home with my Goddaughter/niece, Macy.  She is such a happy child and is a constant reminder of how beautiful it is to be a Godmother and an Aunt.  Hearing her ask for "Aunt Cece" --it makes me melt.  I love seeing the way she interacts with Gingaw and Papa and how she constantly wants to show her affection.  It makes me very happy as a Godmother to see her pointing to pictures of and saying over and over the names of Jesus and Mary.  The sweet sweet sound of her voice when she sings her ABC's, Alleluia, or Ring Around the Rosie is music to my ears.  And to see her love on my dog, Haiti - it's absolutely precious.  These are just a few of my favorites.  The list could go on forever.


3. The stars lit up at the top of the Farmer's Elevator.  Even though we live a few miles outside of town, I can still see them after dark.  They have been there for as long as I can remember and have shown over our town through some of the darkest days, including the tornado that ripped apart our little farm town my Senior year of high school.

4. Enjoying the company of my parents in front of a warm fireplace after a long day together.  It was the perfect way to end my day.

5. Waking up at 2 AM to Macy standing up in her bed, looking at Haiti beside her in her kennel.  Over and over she said, "Haiti you so funny (insert cutuest giggle ever here)."


6. Waking up (at a decent hour this time) to a fresh pot of coffee - compliments of my Pops.  I am very thankful I can count on that every day :)

7. Going to Mass at my home parish.  Appreciating the New Translation.  Seeing familiar faces and seeing my Pops back on the altar resuming his duties as a Deacon for the first time since his knee surgery.

8. Eating breakfast at the VFW Hall with Mom after Mass - and seeing half of the people from Mass there.  What can I say?  It is simply the best.

9. Hitting golf balls in the back yard/field with Lunchbox (my brother-in-law).  Golf is one of the few sports I never tried, but today I decided it was worth a shot. :) I could see this becoming a hobby.

10. Visiting my Granny at the nursing home and seeing that she is just as happy as ever - confused, but happy.  And for that, I am  thankful.

11. Running into Ruthie at the grocery store.  Since she is the closest thing I will ever have to a second Mom, her excitement to see me was wonderful.  I love seeing people unexpectedly :)

Thursday, December 1, 2011


Once again, I've recently been struggling with being so busy with the end of semester madness and my time ending in Kansas City (refer to my October 20th post). It's official, I have 8 days left here and the past week I have felt like I have so much to do and so many people I want to see before I move home.  

Thank God for His timing - it is always perfect.  Reservoir is always the first Thursday of the month at St. Peters.  Reservoir is just one of many awesome things City on a Hill Young Adult Ministry offers for Catholics around my age.  Reservoir just happens to be a Holy Hour in Adoration with the Blessed Sacrament and an opportunity to go to Confession.  This was going to be my last opportunity to go before moving back home and it was much needed after my last chaotic week of classes in my MOT program at RockU.  AND -- what better timing than my first week of Advent coming to a close?!  It was just another chance for me to reflect on the coming of our King. 

The ministry of presence has taken on a whole new meaning for me and reality has finally set in – In a week I won’t be spending every waking moment with the people I have grown to love and care about so much in the Occupational Therapy program at Rockhurst, as well as my roommates and those wonderful people who I have met through FOCUS.  Tonight in Adoration I finally heard God telling me in my heart to SLOW DOWN in my daily life and discover that I need to stop doing so much and simply BE PRESENT.  I've known this all along.  It's simply something I need to remind myself of each and every day.